Lately I’ve talked with some friends who are hurting. I should say, who are *also* hurting.
From my tiredness, feeling like a towel that has been wrung, all I feel is twisted and dry. I feel very cautious about saying anything about the hurt.
Though poets and celebrated authors have received acclaim and income from quantifying pain in the moment it is felt, I step lightly, tentatively around the discoveries made while in my own pain, until I am even just a step or two ahead on the path, and can look back and evaluate which parts were truth, mined from His Word, illuminated by God’s Spirit, and which parts were (for me) exploitative, manipulative, self-pitying feelings.
Through my own mess and exhaustion I can say that I am seeing God soften and shave off areas that have needed His editing for a long time.
I needed to be humbled and broken.
I needed for some of my comforts to be stripped of me.
I needed for Him to give me what I would never have chosen.
And then– gulp– because I see that NOW, I have to also acknowledge that whatever else He sends in my life, is what I will need, so that in the end I look more like Jesus. No matter how painful.
It would be easier not to see that– but God keeps reminding me that His goal for me isn’t for me to be supermom but to be like JESUS.
He is FIERCE about it. Committed to it. His aim– the dot on the target for me– is Christ-like-ness.
If somehow, through His tenacious grace, I persevere and cling to Him, the most gracious thing He can give me is the trials I would never choose. Part of the most true LOVE He can pour out on me is to send the rain and the wind in my life… to pelt me with hail, yes, sometimes even in my bruised spots.
And at that very same time, there is comfort & security there. He is a safe person to “fail” and fall in front of. No one needs to tell Him about mankind. He knows our weakness– that we are dust. He tells us that He will not break the one who is bruised. His love is dependable– He never fails.
When He sends the hard times, He does it for my good. He does it with eternity in mind. He does it knowing that my sanctification needs to be accomplished this way. He does it, knowing ME better than I know myself.
We need what we would never choose.
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Tagged beauty from ashes, Eternal Perspective, God is FAITHFUL, God SEES, have faith, hurt, sorrow, suffering, trust God, wounded heart 
This is a guest post, written by my mom, Debbie. As we are currently preparing for a cross-country move, away from my parents, my husband’s mom, & much of our extended family, she had some thoughts she wanted to share. Visit her new website: TheButtonLady.wordpress.com.
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Many of my friends and loved ones have commented to me lately, saying things like, “Oh, I just don’t think I could handle it if my children lived far away from me”, or “We couldn’t take it if our kids moved away”, and it got me to thinking. Many of these people “dedicated” their babies to the Lord, and have watched as their grandbabies were taken to the front of the church and “dedicated” to the Lord. There was a big day planned, food was prepared, and a big family get-together after the service, because, after all, this was a very important day in the lives of their child.
Was it? I may come across sounding a little sarcastic, but let’s think about what that day of dedication is all about.
What are we dedicating our child to do? Why are we dedicating him/her? How will this affect their life? Does it matter at all? Who cares?
Well, let me start off by speaking only for our own personal situation. We have two children: Jessica, 34, and Aaron, almost 33 (at the end of April). We dedicated them to the Lord at church in front of the congregation, prayed over them, and had friends, family (who might have been there), and anyone in the congregation who felt led to come up and pray with us. We prayed to raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to share with them and talk with them about salvation, and God’s love, and train them up in the way they should go.
We wanted them to follow God’s call in their lives. Never in my wildest thought, did I think they were going to live next door to me after they grew up, went off to college, worked a job, and got married. And, by next door, I mean in the same town, area, or state even. I really wanted them to follow Jesus.
Nurture: to feed and protect: to nurture one’s offspring; to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development; to bring up; train; educate.
I looked up the meaning of admonition, and this was the definition: gentle or friendly reproof ; counsel or warning against fault or oversight.
For many of us there is no greater joy than to know that our children love the Lord and are walking in His truth. Yet we know as parents that this doesn’t automatically happen. Children are born with a certain amount of innocence, yet that innocence is quickly tarnished by the world, the flesh, and the devil. In order for our children to walk in the truth, we must lead them in the truth.
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
So, as parents, it is such a joy to have raised children who love God, want to follow Him at all costs, and that really is the greatest blessing we could imagine.
We, personally, haven’t had the luxury of living close to either one of our children or grandchildren, until the last few years. We have had to use our vacation time to visit them or spend time with them most of their married years. But, we wouldn’t have it any other way. I have often told people, “I wouldn’t want my children to live next door to me if it wasn’t God’s will.” And, I truly mean that. Yes, it’s hard when they are not here to share things with, or visit with, but when they are serving God, and teaching their children to do the same, it makes me want to literally jump up and down.
Both of my children have that as a priority in their married lives, with their spouses and their children, and it is very pleasant for my husband and I to realize.
I would like to encourage parents and grandparents to really think about it, when you take that precious baby up to the front of the church to “have a dedication service”, because it is real, serious, and life changing. It isn’t really a dedication to the baby, but a dedication to the parents to “raise that baby” to love God and follow Him.
And, when your child comes up to you and lets you know that they have been called to Nigeria as a missionary, or that they have accepted a job to work at a Department Store Headquarters in Arkansas, give them a hug, pray with them, and be happy with them! Celebrate, because they are taking God’s word with them, and they will shine their light brighter than ever before!
That’s what you dedicated them and yourselves to do – you have prepared for this day! Praise the Lord!
Debbie — Please visit me & see my creations at TheButtonLady.wordpress.com
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Tagged adult children, empty nest, Eternal Perspective, mom, parenting 
Posted on March 17, 2014Author Jess Connell 5 Comments on Feelings of Home
I exited Wal-Mart into the bright of day, still stunned by our conversation. The cashier and I had moved one another to tears:
“I left L.A. years ago,” she told me. “Never thought I’d stay here. All my family’s there. I’ve only got my husband here in Texas.” Her smile was strained as she typed in 4-digit codes for fruit. “I miss them so much… I go as often as I can.”
I nodded sympathetically. Of course, she had no idea that I’m preparing to leave *my* L.A.. “Once you leave, you never stop missing it.”
She spoke of the warmth of the beach and the warmth of her family.
I shared with her the only thing I had to give– the things I’d learned in my own experiences of missing home. “It’s tough. But you know, I’ve come to believe that those things– home and family– bring feelings that God means for us to feel. I think He wants us to ultimately realize: our TRUE Home is Heaven. Our true family is the family of God.”
Her eyes widened, and a look of calm overtook her face. She met my gaze. “I think He sent you here to tell me that. I needed to hear that today.” Her smile cracked, and she wiped the corner of her eye. “Look at that, you’ve got me crying.”
My eyes were filled with tears, too, as I smiled. “It’s hard. He’s built into us that wonderful feeling of ‘home.’ But I think we’re ultimately meant to feel that way about Heaven.”
“You’re right. Thank you. That was JUST what I needed to hear today.”
As I walked away, I knew the conversation was meant for me, too.
In our brief exchange, I hadn’t shared that *I’m* about to leave home… again. And it’s never easy. There’s always a piece of us that longs for that warm and “ahhhh” feeling that comes from the landscape, the roads, the familiar faces, the friendly accent– the feeling of home.
But because God tells me that Heaven is my home, the challenge for me is to intentionally let those feelings I possess for the big sky and big hearts of Texas reflect onto the beauty and love I’ll one day know in Heaven… to let my love and longing for this temporary home fuel and (to a vastly greater degree) enlarge my love and longing for my eternal Home.
Ultimately, my words to the cashier were a challenge for my own heart, too.
Consider some of the feelings different people have, in regard to this idea of “home”:
- the ache we feel as we leave the place that’s always been “home”
- (especially as women) the internal drive we have to prepare & nest in our “homes”
- the sometimes life-long loss & bitterness a person feels if “home” has been a confusing or hurtful place
- the sense of “home” in the life of an orphan or refugee is a place always longed-for, but never realized
- how the activities of home are the center of our lives
- the hurrying we feel to make a new house, apartment, or temporary living situation, into a restful, welcoming place
- anticipation and joy at returning “home” after a long time away
- the unsettledness that we feel in other places
- the way we love to make our homes reflect “us”
- the “ahhhhh” feeling that comes with being at home
I’m sure you can think of other instinctive, strong feelings associated with the idea of home.
Each culture, family, life experience, and personality puts their own spin on it, but each in its own way can point us, ultimately, heavenward. Each sensation gives us a glimpse of the delight we’re meant to have in our final HOME. Each facet of this idea of “home” sheds light on what Heaven will one day BE.
The RIGHT feelings–
- the way we feel at ease and relaxed in a place
- the comfort of being with people who love us unconditionally
- the wonder and beauty of God’s creation
- the joy of being with the ones who know us best, and with whom we can be ourselves
- being in a place that suits us, that feels like it was made for us
— give us a glimpse of some of the joys we’ll experience in Heaven.
And even the negative ones that many of us carry in regard to the idea of home–
- feeling uneasy because things weren’t done right
- the sense that we don’t belong
- the idea that things here on earth are broken and hurtful
- the embarrassment that can come from living among people who know all your past mistakes and sin
- the sorrow from missing a place we love
— can point us heavenward and make us long even more for that perfect “home” that will make right what has been broken and hurtful here on earth.
The more “homes” I’ve had, the more homes I’ve packed up and settled into, the more clearly I see the beauty of this. God has given us an internal sense of “home”, pointing us heavenward, making us long more and more for that great place.
- What feelings are evoked in your heart when you hear the word “home”?
- How can/how do those feelings point you heavenward?
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Tagged Eternal Perspective, Heaven, Home 
Well. 
For those of you who don’t know me personally, let me do a quick update: my husband lost his job in November. We have been seeking where God would have us apply, be, etc., over the last few months, and God has been gracious to clearly guide us in one particular direction.
As of yesterday, my husband has been hired as the Associate Pastor for Woodland Christian Church, in Woodland, WA. We are so, so, SO excited!
Which…
If you know us, you know we’re both Texans, born and raised… Yes, we lived overseas for a good long while, but you know how we Texans are about Texas.
So, for us to be excited about living elsewhere after only just making it back to Texas, it is just the Lord. This is a new adventure God clearly has laid out (and is laying out) for us; He has picked us up and is planting our feet in a new place.
That said, I have been sporadic in my posts for the last few weeks, and I will continue to be, through the rest of March and probably most of April (and – perhaps – even a little of May) until we get some semblance of settled-ness in our new place.
So, I will try to write on Mondays, for the time being, but even that may sometimes fall by the wayside as we go through this process of moving our family of 8 to a new place, new ministry, new home, new life. Thanks in advance for your patience.
Thank you, too, to so many of you who have indicated you’ve been praying & thinking of us– what a blessing and encouragement that has been to us!
See you when I see you, and Lord willing, I’ll find a “new normal” of blogging once we get to the other side of this mega-transition.
In the meantime, PLEASE SHARE your post ideas, questions, or topic-starters with me. (That way I’ll have a slew of ideas to use as jumping-off points when I start writing again!)
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Tagged About Jess, Moving, Washington 
We have a bush, a beautiful bush that used to grow in our yard. (It was a Japanese Barberry— love them!!) But that was exactly the problem.
It grew in the yard-– it had been planted in the middle of the grass. For two years, I mowed AROUND the bush, week in, week out. So earlier this winter, one day when I needed a stress reliever and had a free moment, I headed outside with my shovel to “rehome” this lovely bush to a different spot in our yard.
As I hacked around the base, I came across three side roots that had grown out, parallel to the ground above, and after disconnecting the thickest part of those roots from the feathery tendrils that spread further out, I thought I was done. But when I went to pop the plant out of the hole I’d dug, it wouldn’t budge. I soon found out that the bush had a deep (and thick!) taproot that went straight down. After more hacking, pulling, bending, pleading, and even more fervent hacking, the bush gave way.
I found a more suitable place for the plant, but not without first grappling with its stubborn tenacity. Its deep root had made it strong. Though it only stood perhaps 3 feet tall, no change of the winds or flooding or drought was going to kill this plant.
The root had intentionally gone deep into the soil, which produced vigorous strength and helped the plant to cling to life through difficult seasons.
The Apostle Paul said this about roots:
“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”
~Colossians 2:7
And JRR Tolkien wrote this:
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”
Many times have I heard the second line of that verse, but the fourth blew me away when I read it today. It’s true.
Deep roots keep a plant hardy in times of dramatic weather change.
It’s the same for us.
So what are our roots growing “DEEP” into? The Apostle Paul charged the Colossians: “LET your roots grow down deep.” The ESV says, “…walk in him, rooted and built up in him…”
The idea is that, as we go through life, we are to willfully grow into Christ.
- To let HIM be what we take our nourishment from.
- To GROW from the “sap” that He procures for us.
- To let HIS life and His WORD be what flows through us, rather than looking for sustenance from some other source.
It is easy for us as humans to grow the sideways roots, parallel to the ground. I think this happens when we draw life, joy, and contentment from people, from things, from events in our life, from accolades. These things can bring a temporary joy (and that, in and of itself, is not wrong). However, that temporary joy can mask the true need, which is roots that grow down deep into the ONLY thing that securely grounds us: CHRIST.
When we grow deep in Him, deep in His Word, deep in oneness with His heart, His teachings, and His sufferings, we are secure when we hit hard times.
His unchanging nature becomes our anchor in the storm.
Then, even the temporary, or horizontal, joy that we derive from other people, or from the pleasurable things God has put into our lives, have more sweetness, because we are rooted in Christ and able to enjoy them in their proper perspective, as sweeteners… as gifts from our Father… rather than as the source of joy or as the penultimate purpose for our lives.
God is so good. His Word is so good. I want to grow deep in Him, and want to love His Word more than I do. I want my roots to grow deep so that when storms come, I will be rooted in a secure foundation– the unshakable person of Jesus.
I offer these 5 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE DIRECTION OF YOUR SPIRITUAL GROWTH: (and I’m asking them of myself, too):
- If someone else was objectively examining your life, where would they see the most growth over the last year or two? (Would they notice growth in godliness?)
- What do you get MOST EXCITED about in your life? (sports, home decor, wardrobe, recipes, homeschooling curriculum, organic food)
- On what are you spending your money? (our pocketbooks often point to the things we love most, and the ways that we are actually working to grow)
- When life hacks away at you, what “roots” do you try to gain security from? (Food? husband? nice house? financial stability? having a “good” family? control of others? your weight? the praise of others?)
- What things, when taken away from you, produce an ugly attitude in your demeanor, words, or heart? (Money, position, possessions, family members, food, music, sports, appearance?)
When we look at the things we are trying to derive joy, security, and value from, it shows us the direction of our roots. Are we drawing “sap” from Christ, or is our security in people, possessions, position, and other things?
Image courtesy of foto76/freedigitalphotos.net
Sign up to receive my monthly newsletter, and I’ll send you my FREE book, ONE THING: Top Tip (From a Mom of 6). In it, you’ll learn the top way I:
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Tagged heart change, rooted in Christ, spiritual growth 
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