A friend recently asked about battling postpartum insomnia, and I shared my thoughts with her and then decided to share them here with you, too, in case you’re facing similar concerns.
SPIRITUAL/PHYSICAL ANGLE?
I’m not saying this lightly, but have you prayed about it?
I have found, for me, that those times when I am dealing with insomnia (and yes it often happens, ironically, postpartum, at the time I need it most), that it is not only physical but spiritual.
Often we leap straight to the physical– what is happening in my physical body/chemicals/hormones, etc.? But I have found that I can *do* all the right things– soak in hot magnesium (epsom salt) baths right before bed, have regular times of intimacy, so there is plenty of physical release & a lack of tension, avoid electronics immediately before bed, not do coffee after noon, have the temperature “right,” etc., and still experience insomnia.
There is sometimes a physical cause, and so I’ve definitely had to make sure I’m doing all of the above with regularity & intentionality. But sometimes I’m doing all the physical things, and still experience lack of sleep & an increase in anxiety & fear at nighttime.
What I’ve come to believe is that this is an area where our enemy sometimes attacks us. When we lived overseas, we noticed it especially among the WOMEN. Almost every female living abroad that I knew struggled actively, or had previously struggled, with insomnia.
But the Psalms say “God gives to His beloved rest.”
So. I don’t understand how the spiritual world works. But I do believe there are unseen things happening that we sometimes overlook. And I know that prayer wages war in unseen places in a way that magnesium baths doesn’t.
As wives/mothers, we are the pivotal person in the home. If I get enough rest, things go smoothly, and it affects (now) 7 other people’s days positively. If I don’t, and everything goes to pot, meals go unmade, I’m crabby all day, on edge, grumpy, not mentally “on,” it affects 7 other people’s day for the negative.
I believe this is part of why Scripture calls us “the weaker vessel.” We are in this stage of less sleep, less physical & mental wherewithal, and simultaneously have all these people depending on us.
So anytime I notice insomnia as a pattern for me (it comes and goes), I begin praying about it. I ask Doug to pray for me before we lay down, that I would be able to fall asleep easily & stay asleep all night. We ask that I would only have good dreams and not be paralyzed by creepy/fearful ones, or even heart-pounding exciting ones. We ask that I would wake up feeling well-rested and ready for a new day.
These prayers sound simple and perhaps trite, but we pray them in faith, asking God to do it, believing that He will. And He has done it again and again. Our Father loves His children and gives good gifts. He cares for us, and made us to sleep well. So for me, when I see this as a pattern (not a one-off weird night, but an ongoing thing), I begin actively praying that God would help me to get the sleep I so desperately need, and that He would silence my mind.
MENTAL/EMOTIONAL INTAKE
I am finding (this increased over the last few months as I experienced a lot of terrifying, wake-me-up-with-heart-pounding sort of dreams with this pregnancy) that I also have to be more careful with media intake & what I read on the internet.
Anything that is remotely disturbing or frustrating, I can’t handle on my “plate” right now.
LIFE AS A BUFFET PLATE
I have started thinking of life as a buffet plate. My heavenly Father has put together a plate for me that He knows has the right portions on it. My plate has Doug, Ethan, Baxter, Maranatha, Silas, Moses, & Theo, and now this new baby on it. Also on the plate are my house, and the immediate circle of friends that He’s put in my life.
But then sometimes I’m like the kid who goes up to the buffet line and keeps adding more and more things to my “plate.” Whereas He puts what I need on there, and He knows the proper amount, my eyes can be too big for my appetite and I read a little snippet here, or an article there, decide to take on a new project, or feast my eyes on what God has put on someone else’s plate and add it to mine.
Pretty soon, my plate is overflowing and I’m looking at my plate and feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and frustrated because THERE’S NO WAY I CAN EAT ALL THIS, GOD.
And He’s sitting there, saying, “I never expected you to. I gave you the portion you could handle, and you piled all that macaroni & cheese and jello and mashed potatoes on top of the things I’d already chosen for you.”
WHAT HAS GOD PUT ON MY PLATE?
So then I have to pull back, take a good look at my plate, and ask myself, “what has God really given ME?”
Has He given me the problems of the Middle East to solve and gut-grind over?
No.
Has He given me the problems of every friend I ever had, who posts them to Facebook, so that I have to “carry” those and churn over them all day and all night?
No.
Has He given me the weight of every plane crash, tsunami, and human tragedy on the globe? No. I can pray, and in some situations perhaps give money if God leads our family to do so, but one hundred years ago, I wouldn’t even know about most of these things. Media and the internet are what try to put those things on my plate. I don’t have to consume them or let them consume me.
Has He given me the problems of every person I know in my immediate circle of friends?
Only the parts that I can do something about. Can I pray? Can I bring a meal? Do I have a word of encouragement for that person? Great. I can do that. But after doing those things, that’s what I can do. That’s the part on my “plate.” Solving everyone else’s problems is not part of the portion that God has assigned to me.
Has He tasked me with sorting out every theological and convictional question I run across that interests my mind?
No. With my husband, I can talk through those things that directly affect us, but I don’t have to figure out everything, TODAY.
So for me, especially this summer, learning what is on my “plate” and doing that faithfully and not focusing on the things that are NOT, has been beneficial (and necessary). I have to be vigilant to guard my intake, and not take on stress and heartaches that God didn’t give to ME.
I don’t know if any of that will help you but that’s what has been helping me lately as I battle insomnia and fears and feeling plagued with the problems of the world.
I’ve had to recognize that I am a weaker vessel, and guard myself with the same care I guard my children in a crowded parking lot. I am more vulnerable than I realize, and you are too, and stewarding *US* well is an important job.
Love you. And I’m praying that you did, eventually, fall asleep, and come to sleep well.
Jess
Images courtesy of photostock & MasterIsolatedImages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Tagged anxiety & worry, exhaustion, Fear, Insomnia, Media intake, Panic Attacks, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Sleep, Sleeplessness, Stewarding *Me*, stress, Vivid Dreams, Worry 
“I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake.”
~1 John 2:12
Does one sin (or sin area) come into your mind when I say, “‘THAT sin’ does not define you?”
I’ll be honest and tell you that I used to– as a believer– live under the weight and shame of past sin. The cloak of “not good enough” that I wore influenced every interaction I had, especially in the church.
In my mind it disqualified me from relationships with certain godly people. I felt “less than,” and (even if it didn’t show on the outside), inside I was ashamed.
And I don’t think I’m alone in having that experience.
One of our enemy’s craftiest schemes is that he tries to convince believers that they are defined by their sin, rather than by the holiness of the One Who saved them from that sin.
Some people are haunted by sins they committed before they came to Christ; some are mortified by the things they did when they were supposed to be growing into maturity as a believer.
Things we knowingly participated in, things we felt unable to break free from, and things we did and later regretted… there is hardly a person among us who walks into church on Sunday morning who doesn’t have a “THAT sin” buried away somewhere in the shadowy corners of our heart.
However “big,” however “small,” we all have the potential to be burdened by the weight of sin.
But the truth is that, as believers who are hidden in Christ, who have the Spirit alive and at work in us, we do not have to labor under the weight of that old burden any longer.
I am free of those old ways.
You are free of those old ways.
In Christ, there is no condemnation and you are set free from sin.
As believers, these are the banners that should be held over our lives:
Because if it was dependent on US, we would have no need for the Savior.
But with Him, there is mercy. There is forgiveness. There is an awareness that we are dust. There is HIS righteousness bestowed on us. There is an increasing sanctification that He draws us through, so that we become more like His Son, not through our own graspings but through His Word and Spirit alive in us.
My sister (or brother), “THAT” sin does not define who you are.
Your GOD defines you. He is what gives you value and worth and wholeness.
Your identity is not in the magnitude of your sin, but in your magnificent Savior.
Sign up to receive my monthly newsletter, and I’ll send you my FREE book, ONE THING: Top Tip (From a Mom of 6). In it, you’ll learn the top way I:
- BEAT the “Mommy Wars”, and
- HAVE PEACE in my parenting decisions.
SIGN UP now & I’ll send it your way: Posted in Grow as a Church Member, Grow as a Disciple, Grow as a Woman
Tagged beauty from ashes, Forgiveness, heart change, killing sin, sanctification
I haven’t done a lot of links posts here on this new blog, but one of my favorite things to do (in real life and online) is to point people in the direction of wonderful resources. So, without further ado- here are links to some (EXCELLENT) Kindle books that are currently FREE:
And- you can always grab my e-book for free as well:
- One Thing: Top Tip From a Mom of Six – by Jess Connell
Happy READING!
Sign up to receive my monthly newsletter, and I’ll send you my FREE book, ONE THING: Top Tip (From a Mom of 6). In it, you’ll learn the top way I:
- BEAT the “Mommy Wars”, and
- HAVE PEACE in my parenting decisions.
SIGN UP now & I’ll send it your way: Posted in Grow as a Disciple, Grow as Homemaker, Grow as Mom
Tagged books, OneThingBook 
Want the truth about being “Mommy?”
Motherhood is a LOT…
- a lot of snuggles
- a lot of example-setting
- a lot of comforting hurts
- a lot of analyzing problems
- a lot of correcting
- a lot of smiles
- a lot of sorting-out priorities
- a lot of seeking wise counsel
- a lot of spankings
- a lot of back rubbing
- a lot of exhaustion
- a lot of setting aside present demands for the needs of others
- a lot of talking
- a lot of listening
- a lot of training
- a lot of repeating the same thing dozens of times
- a lot of wondering when things you’ve repeated and trained will “stick”
- a lot of menial tasks
- a lot of body change
- a lot of “you look really pretty, mama”s
- a lot of hugs and kisses and zurburts and tickles
- a lot of hand-picked wildflower & dandelion bouquets
- a lot of wonder while watching needy babies explode into little people
- a lot of giggling together
- a lot of disappointment
- a lot of cooking
- a lot of “you’re the best cook ever, mama”s
- a lot of very hard work
- a lot of nights with weary feet
- a lot of nights with hot baths
- a lot of careful planning
- a lot of joy as you see your plans and hard work bless the people you love
- a lot of learning to rightly prioritize your own needs amidst the needs of others (some of us have the tendency to be too selfish, others have the tendency to be too self-giving without ever ranking their own emotional & mental health into the mix of household needs)
- a lot of lifestyle change
- a lot of adjustment and growth
- a LOT of prayer
- TOTALLY worth it.
What would you add to the list?
Image courtesy of NutdanaiApikhomboonwaroot/freedigitalphotos.net
Sign up to receive my monthly newsletter, and I’ll send you my FREE book, ONE THING: Top Tip (From a Mom of 6). In it, you’ll learn the top way I:
- BEAT the “Mommy Wars”, and
- HAVE PEACE in my parenting decisions.
SIGN UP now & I’ll send it your way: Posted in Grow as Mom
Tagged children, exhaustion, family life, God SEES, Home, homemaker, motherhood, parenting 
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