I hate sin.

I mean I really hate it.

And I wish I could say I hate it for all the reasons God does, but I don’t. I’m not that holy. I definitely hate that it put Jesus on the cross. Honestly, though? I don’t hate it enough for that reason.

Because I still do it. And, sure, I hate the fall-out for other people…

… but one reason I hate sin that I’ve recently discovered is that it forces me into an uncomfortable place.

Because of my sin, I ultimately have to do one of two things:

  • BE HUMBLE, or
  • BE A HYPOCRITE.

Our sin forces us to OWN the reality:

I am a stinky, rotten sinner. I’m a mess. I’m needy. I’m NOT strong. I’m NOT an awesome Christian woman who has it all together.

So that should make me instantly thankful, right? But it doesn’t yet. Cause I’m not that holy yet.

But what it does make me do is realize this:

AS A MOM I WILL EITHER BE HUMBLE & REPENTANT,
OR I WILL BE A HYPOCRITE.

My kids will either see me:

  • sin and repent, OR
  • sin and be silent.

Those are the only two options. Because there is one guaranteed thing they’re NOT going to have: a perfect mom.

Sometimes I’ve told my oldest son,

“I wish I could give you a perfect mama. But instead, I’ll ask for your forgiveness when I sin against you.”

That was easier when he was at an age where it was less likely he would remember. It’s harder now when he’s at an age I know he’ll remember.

  • He’ll remember how humiliating it is to be yelled at by me, his mom.
  • He’ll remember how it felt to burn with fury because I criticized the way he did XYZ.
  • He’ll remember.

But you know what else I’m hoping he’ll remember?

That I repented. 

Because I don’t have the option to never sin against him. Not in reality.

These are the only two choices I have:

  1. Don’t repent, and be a hypocrite.
  2. Repent and be humble.

And those are the only two choices you have, too, Mama. Your kids need to see your repentance.

This, of course raises a question: 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO REPENT?

It doesn’t just mean saying “sorry.” Nope. That’s not biblical repentance. That’s… at best… a band-aid? An olive branch?

Repentance is more robust.

It means confessing the full measure of one’s sin against God, and turning away from it. It means my kids need to hear me fully agree with God about my sin… and then see me actively, daily, sometimes moment-by-moment, take steps to fight and turn away from my sin.

They need this for many reasons:

  • It shows them who God is— that He’s real and He hates sin and doesn’t approve of my sin agains them.
  • It shows them I really believe what I say I believe, and am willing to feel embarrassment because I’d rather be honest than hide my sin and feel comfortable.
  • This communicates to them that sin really is serious. And that we’re committed to be serious about it, too..
  • It models for them what they can do about their own sin.

IN THE COMMENTS:

Will you share with this community of Christian moms? How are you growing in your willingness to repent in a way that models a right view of sin and relationship with God for your kids?

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