We heard it so much over the last 9 months.

“MeiMei needs a sister!”

“You poor thing! So many brothers! Do you know what this one is yet?”

“Oh goodness, you guys need a little girl this time!”

Now I know… having a son would mean we’d have 7 boys, right? I mean,

7.

BOYS.

FIVE… in a ROW.

I get it.

And I also get that most people are just commenting about life, like the weather… “we need some sunshine here in these parts!” or, “we could do with some rain.”

It’s common to desire the thing you have less of.

And let me be clear– I hold no one in ill will… and we get so many of these comments that I’m not thinking of some particular person right now. We all make unnecessary and/or unhelpful comments in life, and most of the time, we don’t realize how those comments feel on the side of the hearer. I do recognize that most people saying this are thinking about their own relationship with a beloved sister, or the perceived imbalance in our family, or just hoping that certainly… hopefully… one day… the odds will be in favor of another little girl Connell.

But…

{and maybe MeiMei and I know this lesson better than anyone else, because we’ve lived it together these last 10 years, 5 times over now}

…GOD ALWAYS SENDS WHO IS BEST.

He always, always, always does.

There is not the slightest chance I’d trade in my…

  • hilarious, chuckley, thoughtful, vibrant 6-year-old Mosey man, or my
  • snuggly, observant, little 21-month-old Luke-a-roni, or my
  • little amazing hiker-man, nap-buddy, and funny-faced 3-year-old Theo

…to have had more “balance” in our family… even though, for all of these, most people were pulling for daughters (and in two of the three pregnancies, we were initially told via sonogram that they *were* girls).

What I mainly want to say is… MeiMei apparently DIDN’T need a sister. Or else God would have sent her a sister.

Because He ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS does what is best.

Despite our desire to end all the hard things in the world, all the injustices, and inequalities, a right reckoning of God’s perfect sovereignty and His ability to not only make use of but– in the words of Joseph– “MEAN” things for our good… is this:

There is never a time when some alternate universe would be better than the one He has given us.

Last Wednesday, He sent us a perfect little 8 pound, 14 ounce Fisher Barnabas.

And he is exactly the right person to have entered this world at that moment– a brother for MeiMei– a son for me… a unique expression of God’s glory now living and breathing in this world.

Two things I know for certain:

  1. God is always good. He is never anything less than good.
  2. MeiMei didn’t need a sister. She needed Fisher. And that’s exactly who God gave her.

For my part, I think words matter.

I don’t want to tell people, “you need a daughter; you need a son; your only child needs a sibling; your wife needs a daughter; your husband needs a son;” etc. Because those things might just be lies.

Part of being mortal and living a time-linear life is that WE HAVE NO IDEA.

But God always knows. He always does what’s best. And He always SENDS who’s best.

And the most recent “best” thing He’s done in my life is sent us Fisher Barnabas. A seventh son full of soft cheeks and chirpy pterodactyl squawks and heavy little sleep-filled breaths who brings smiles to all 9 of us Connells… including his proud big sister who couldn’t beam any brighter than she does when looking at him.

I’m so thankful for God’s exactly-right, always-perfect gifts.

He does all things well.

To hear more of my thoughts about Fisher Barnabas & our thoughts about whether or not we’ll have more kids, check out this video: 2 DAYS POSTPARTUM: WILL WE HAVE MORE CHILDREN?

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