It’s hard to discern sometimes, isn’t it? Especially the first time we face these things as a mom! Did he really hear me? Does she really understand what I’m asking? How can I know what I should/shouldn’t expect.
When do our children know enough to start obeying us?
For us, obedience starts long before they’re speaking, and long before some people think a child can really understand. Luke, who turns one year old this week, is already obeying us on simple commands in two main areas: not touching things, and not standing up in his high chair.
In our home, the early strands of obedience start about the time they start really exploring the house. To delve into this more, Luke and I (and a few nomadic boys in the background) made two videos for y’all:
VIDEO #1- TEACHING A BABY TO BE GENTLE: One morning a couple months ago, Luke started hitting me, so my mommy radar went off. Immediately, I started teaching him, “gentle, gentle.” Here’s that process, with Luke when he was 10 months old.
VIDEO #2- TEACHING A BABY WHAT’S OFF-LIMITS: Around that same time, Luke began exploring like a crazy man (AKA like a normal baby). When he tried to grab books from our school box, though, I stopped and made a video about it.
{Bonus! In this one, while I’m talking about teaching stuff to babies, you get to see my sweet and silly 5-year-old, Moses, pushing boundaries more and more until I give him a firm command. Some kids struggle with that more than others. I was allowing him too much freedom, and my early instructions to him (as you’ll see) aren’t clear enough. He needs more structure, and does fine once it’s there. But man, there’s no small amount of irony in that I’m talking about obedience here, and my 5-year-old is pushing it. 
Just let his adorable-faced, testy pushing-of-the-bounds reassure you that none of us have perfect, robotically-obedient children.}
People ask this question a lot, and I just wanted to share something to encourage moms with young ones who aren’t certain–
My almost-one-year-old knows “no, no” and obeys. He has known it and done it for at least a solid month. Today, multiple times he went for a cabinet, and then I said, “no, no”, and he would turn and do something else.
At one year old, he is, already, in his little way, learning to heed mommy’s voice & listen.
{NOTE: I do not (and would not!) spank my one-year-old, but my point is that by consistently not allowing him to ignore my words (i.e., it started w/ saying “no, no” and physically removing him from the opportunity to keep doing whatever he was doing), he now consistently listens to me and immediately stops doing whatever he’s doing if he hears me say “no, no”. I want to be clear: I’m not talking about spanking here.}
I’m just talking about consistent, day-in, day-out, loving instruction and follow-through from mom. And for us, that starts around the time that they start crawling and exploring (usually around 8-10 months is when my kiddos are really actively exploring the home).
Our children understand more than we give them credit for, and I think that is increasingly true for our society. Society wants to say a 16 year old “didn’t really understand” what he was doing when he murders. Or that a 10 year old “doesn’t really know” about bullying or that it’s wrong. Or that a 4 year old “didn’t really hear mommy” and so shouldn’t be disciplined for not obeying.
This self doubt, combined with a society-wide lack of general familiarity with children, makes us question ourselves about what they know, when they know it, and how deeply they actually know.
They know. They know far earlier, and far deeper, than we give them credit for.
Discipline (faithfully teach and train) your child while he is young. Discipline him/her as if his/her soul depended on it, because it really IS that significant. Press on. Be consistent. Keep going! Don’t give up. Don’t attach an excuse or a label to it, and let them keep getting away with disobedience and sin.
Teach your young children through faithful, daily, consistent observation and instruction.
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