A reader asks:
Q: Jess, what about when my husband is glued to his phone/laptop/ research for work constantly? Even when we eat meals together his smartphone is nearby in case any notifications pop up. He keeps music/talk shows playing in his headphones continually and actually does close to nothing around the house (with the exception of yard work- again with headphones ever present). He’s simply not available for lots of conversation, not present when I’m cooking, and except for when he wants sex, not at all attentive after our four young children (age 4 and under) are in bed at 7:30. It’s a very lonely, disconnected marriage for me, and I’m not sure how I can affect it when he isn’t willing to be present in our daily life. Any suggestions?
Follow-up details:
“He loves the Lord and our family, but honestly he was raised in a home with an unbelieving father whose gaze was constantly fixed on the television or computer (and still is when we visit). He sees it as inconsiderate in his own father but doesn’t recognize the same distractedness in our family. So I think, at least in his case, we’re not only dealing with his distractions, but also with his perception that mom assuming all child and household care is the norm while dad is buried in his 21st century “newspaper.” He works very hard to provide for us and I’m not angry or bitter toward him, but I see all he and our family are missing out on and I ache for what we could be experiencing together.”
This is, unfortunately, an increasing concern– even in Christian homes. Do you have wisdom to share?
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