by Jess Connell · December 5, 2016

Two days after having my precious new son, I shared a picture on Facebook with the following comments:

I love the sleepy quiet snuggled-in days after a baby arrives, in general… and I love this quiet day, in particular. 

Seeing my babies love on my babies… and getting to see them embrace (not just philosophically but with their whole hearts and minds, because they are LIVING it) God’s truth that children really are a blessing… makes my heart so full it could burst. 

MeiMei & I have had so many sweet conversations– about babies, about life– in the last 24 hours. I’m very grateful that she is so eager to hold my sweet newborn son, Fisher, and I love Love LOVE seeing them together. 

Afterward, a friend asked:

“I have kind of a personal question so feel free to not answer….I’m curious if you guys will continue to have kids as long as God blesses you?”

Here’s my 19-minute video answer to her question. I’ll apologize on the front end for how quiet my voice is. I was out in the living room for a 5am feeding with Fisher and didn’t want to wake anyone up.

I want to be clear–

  • These are our own thoughts, about our own babies.
  • We definitely realize that the concerns (medical, financial, career, familial, marriage, home, community support, etc.) we have to think about are not the same concerns as every other family/couple, and that everyone has different lives & different challenges.
  • This is not universal or prescriptive– thus, not offered as *advice.*
  • These are just my hazy thoughts & perspective about babies and souls and our own choices, after being asked by a friend about these things.

Video outline:

  • 3:00- the biggest thing I’ve realized about having more babies
  • 3:55- mothering is a real sacrifice, with real pain & hard work
  • 4:55- the difference in my perspective now vs. my 1st postpartum time, 14 years ago
  • 5:55- what I’m seeing now, as my kids are getting older
  • 9:00- how this big picture frames the way I see the difficulty of my postpartum season
  • 10:10- real & immediate challenges in the postpartum season & what helps me get past the feelings & fear when I feel like, “I CAN’T DO THIS! THIS IS CRAZY!”
  • 13:00- how I think about whether or not we’ll have more children
  • 15:35- this isn’t universal advice, or a commentary on other people’s lives
  • 16:55- sum-up of my perspective on postpartum & whether we’ll have more kids

Here’s another pic of Silas (our 8 year old cake-baking gardener) holding my precious Fisher.

Just because.

Grace & Peace,

Jess

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Tags: About Jesschildren are a blessingchildren as arrowsfamily sizefertilitylarge family questionsmy lifePostpartumQ&A